Little Trump-er Boy
Humor - Donald Trump’s recent dustup with Rosie O’Donnell once again shows that no matter how rich he is, he is still the loser everyone remembers from high school. This is the guy you couldn’t bring yourself to hate because you felt bad for him. This is the guy who couldn’t get a date to the junior prom, even with the help of "my father's bitchin wheels." And no matter how financially successful he became, you always assumed the hot the woman he brought to the class reunion was his cousin or a hooker -- or both.
His part-ownership of the Miss Universe Organization is his latest attempt at being one of the cool guys. Watching him come to the rescue of Miss USA Tara Conner only brings back images of a snotty teenage Trump desperately hoping the guys will like him -- as they stuff his head into a gym toilet.
If the Donald wants to trade his self humiliation for self respect, he needs to grow up and impress us (well okay, me) with a newfound maturity. Here are a few ways he can achieve that.
• Donald Trump’s Ms. Magazine
• Donald Trumps best-selling book on relationships: “Donald Trump is from Mars, Women are from Venus”
• Donald Trump Senior Badminton Circuit
• Donald Trump and Rosie O’Donnell’s Gay Getaway Cruises
• Donald Trump’s 100 percent undetectable hair pieces
• “Donald Trump and Bea Arthur’s Guide to Mind-Blowing Sex”
• One night Only: Bette Midler and Barry Manilow reunited at Donald Trump’s Atlantic City Bath House
• Today on "Dr. Phil": Donald Trump talks about wetting his bed
• Theater critics agree: “Donald Trump is Quentin Crisp!”
• Join Donald Trump and other men for a spiritual weekend of evoking deep emotions, chanting and drumming, and herbal colonics.
