He’s Heaving On a Jet Plane
Humor / Sports - Bill Parcells retired as head coach of the Dallas Cowboys.
How good a coach was he? Forget about the 183 wins, the three Super Bowl appearances, and the two World Championships. Here is the real mark of a champion: When coaching the Jets, he described a time when the stress of wanting to win so badly caused him to vomit in his mouth while sleeping.
Most people will do anything to avoid vomiting, including coaching an NFL team. Vomiting brought on by stress is one of the leading indicators someone is in the wrong line of work.
Do you vomit if the French fries you're making are just a little overdone? Maybe it’s time to give McDonald’s two weeks notice and think about flipping soy burgers at a Siddha Yoga Meditation Ashram. Did you upchuck during your wedding ceremony? You may have a few more issues to work out.
But here is where Bill Parcells is different from the rest of us: He wouldn’t let a gastrointestinal rejection of his pending nuptials stop him (as evidenced by his divorce this year). Why? Because he is the consummate pro. “I don’t want to hear anything about bad omens! Throw some sawdust down! Play a few choruses of “Sunrise Sunset.” And don’t stop until you get to the I dos!”
Vomiting due to stress may seem like old school for contemporary NFL coaches. It may even be possible to be committed to winning without puking on your wife the night before every game. Still, it won’t be the same not seeing Bill Parcells each Sunday, patrolling the sidelines, and thinking: I hope he didn’t eat Mexican last night.
ben.alper@onlineoffbeat.com
