10 Reasons Why You Should Care About Britney Spears
Humor
• Fewer Britney Spears reports of self-destruction mean more Anna Nicole Smith reports of decomposition.
• Admit it. You are curious about which body part she will shave next.
• If she can’t patch things up with husband Kevin Federline, we may be looking at the next Mr. Demi Moore.
• Are you ready for tabloid shots of Elizabeth Taylor sans underwear?
• If we don’t give her another chance, Donald Trump will.
• The Promises Malibu Treatment Center desperately needs an addicted celebrity who is not also racist, homophobic, or anti-Semitic.
• “Daddy, if Britney can be addicted booze and pills, why can’t I?”
• In spite of everything, she is still qualified to be an astronaut.
• What if God talks to us through her addiction counselor?
• She can still breed.
