Work-Related Accidents Through History
Humor
Egypt, 1300 BC
Dear Mr. Remmao:
I have filed your workman’s compensation claim as requested, but I have to say I am not optimistic. Even if we can prove there were flagrant safety hazards at the Pyramid construction site, the fact that you are a slave makes discussion of lost wages problematic.
Rome, 264 BC
Dear Mr. Junius:
As someone who has worked on countless gladiator disability cases, I can assure you that yours will be no problem. I have lined up three experts who will testify the wheel on your chariot was faulty. Even if that fails, we can prove the release you signed before being thrown into the lions pit was never notarized.
London, 1610
Dear Mr. Shakespeare:
According to the documentation you sent me, you developed repetitive stress syndrome (whatever that is) in your writing hand while working on your last play. Since technically you are an independent contractor, your client, Globe Theatre Productions, is not required to pay for any of your leech treatments. Also, a guy named Christopher Marlowe filed the same claim while writing the same plays you referenced in your report. If you two are going to pull the same scam, at least get your stories straight.
Sacramento, 1847
Dear Mr. Donner:
As parties go, that one must have been a doozy! Fortunately, you were the only one who had the foresight to buy cannibalism insurance before you left. (We originally offered it as a joke but didn’t think anyone would actually buy it.) You are fully covered for the loss of one arm, two legs, one liver, and one gallbladder. Also, your employer’s insurance may cover part of this if any part of you was eaten by an employee.
Chicago, 1905
Dear Mr. Bunyan:
I received your letter in the mail, and I think you have a valid case. You should have been compensated for the 500,000 acres of land you cleared in the past three months. But here is our problem: A man who is so large that his footsteps created Minnesota’s ten thousand lakes does not make a sympathetic witness. Any chance you have a giant widowed mother to support?
