YouToob Can Be a Star
Humor / Politics - Are you thinking about running for political office or being a public figure? Be prepared to face a barrage of video cameras, and be prepared to end up on YouTube.
No one will ask if you are ready for your close-up. No one will point out there is spinach in your teeth. And no will ask for one more take -- this time without you checking for ear wax.
Your life 24/7 is fair game, and you have got to know how to play it. Follow these tips and you will not be viewed more times than the water-skiing squirrel.
· Feel free to visit strip clubs and massage parlors, but always bring a book. No one will care if you are getting a lap dance if you are getting it while reading ”War and Peace.”
· You cannot afford to be videotaped while under the influence of drugs. Do not take a chance. Begin every speech by saying “It may be the over-the-counter cold medicine I just took talking but…"
· Never preface anything by saying, “Who’s going to know?” or "I dare you to post that!"
· Do not bend down to pick up the newspaper from your lawn with only a towel wrapped around your waist.
· Never enter any kind of eating competition.
· If you have to drive your hot 15-year old babysitter home, insist she ride in the trunk.
· Make sure your fly is always up -- even when taking a shower.
· If people refuse to stop videotaping you, start talking about soy bean subsidies.
· Unless you are Barack Obama, do not even try to act cool.
· Do not antagonize your audience. Avoid phrases like “Photoshop this, Punk!”
· It is OK to sweat. It is not OK to be vieotaped wringing out your shirt in the men’s room.
