Du-ranged Observations
Humor - Guest contributor, Chuck Durang
The White House and Congress expressed anger that the Iraqi Parliament planned to take a month’s vacation while the situation in that country was still so unsettled. Congress and the President then left Washington for their one-month vacations.
Any Muslim cleric with access to adherents, a microphone or an Internet site can issue a /fatwa, /a ruling on some aspect of Muslim behavior or duty. These fatwas may conflict with each other, to add to the confusion. The imam Hassan ben Sobr, chief cleric of the Mosque of the Prophet’s Brother-in-Law, in Brockton, Massachusetts, recently issued a fatwa directing all devout Muslims to pray for the destruction of the New York Yankees.
This was followed by a fatwa from Professor Wasabi al-Toledo, Chairman of the Department of Islamic Studies at New York’s Yeshiva University, offering a spot in Paradise for anyone who can introduce large quantities of stinging insects into ben Sobr’s beard.
Alarmed by the recent Minneapolis bridge collapse and the possibility that money to be allotted to upgrading the country’s infrastructure might come out of funds that could otherwise be directed to pork barrel spending in Alaska, Senator Ted Stevens has introduced a bill to provide 2.4 billion dollars for maintenance and repair of the famed Bridge to Nowhere, now under construction near Nowhere, AK.
A new poll among probable Democratic voters finds they prefer Hilary Clinton’s cleavage to that of Barack Obama, by 42% to 37%.
President Bush began his vacation the other day, whereupon his job approval rating gained ten points in the polls. Katie Couric announced she would begin her vacation as soon as possible.
Stumping in Iowa, Mitt Romney attempted to regain the support of dog lovers by announcing he would return to Massachusetts or Utah or wherever he is from by automobile, with two cats strapped to the roof of the car.
Not clear on the concept, Michael Vick has announced he will invest in a consortium of catfighting websites.
And I haven't even touched on Karl Rove...
