Political Shorts - 1
Politics / Humor - From Fringe to Cringe Candidate
GOP Rep. Tom “Hablo Ingles Solamente” Tancredo propelled his candidacy from no chance in Hell to no chance in Hell and beyond when he said he favored bombing Mecca and other Islamic holy sites to deter a terrorist attack on the United States. Tancredo has even DAR dowagers wondering if they should book passage back to England on the Mayflower.
I Love Lake Winnipesaukee in the Summer
Top 5 reasons French President Nicolas Sarkozy chose to vacation in New Hampshire:
• Club Med-Bayonne was totally booked.
• Jerry Lewis claims the Granite State has the best lobster roll.
• Sarkozy mistakenly thought New Hampshire’s motto was “Live Free or Diet.”
• The money saved from stocking up at state liquor stores more than pays for the trip.
• Where else can a middle-age man be the Speedo King?
Mess-achusetts Musings
Five ways gambling can be used to promote unpopular state projects:
• LNG tanker/floating casino – More exciting than a flaming craps table.
• Halfway house/casino - What better way to help a former serial killer/future blackjack dealer get back on his feet?
• Hazardous waste dump/Keno parlor - Growing a third arm is a small price to pay for winning $50.
• Public housing project/bingo hall - That noxious odor in the stairway isn't urine. It’s the sweet smell of winning.
• Longfellow Bridge renovation scratch tickets - Uncover three support beams that haven't rusted away and you're a winner.
Small Street Journal
UPS is celebrating its 100-year anniversary. It is also the 100th anniversary of the first man to say: “I refuse to wear a derby and brown shorts.”
Weekly Prediction
Barack Obama will tell Hillary Clinton she has some toilet paper stuck on her shoe. Thirty seconds later, 150 news outlets will speculate how Clinton will respond.
