Political Shorts - 2
Politics / Humor - Exit Karl Rove
Karl Rove is leaving Washington, presumably to spend more time with his family and question their patriotism. He can also finally pursue his ultimate dream -- train for the "Mr. Pasty White Guy" body building competition. The president will miss his faithful advisor and brain, but it’s reassuring to know Rove is only a dirty trick away.
Giuliani: “I’d like to see a menu and five forms of ID.”
After governing the city that green cards forgot, Rudy Giuliani wants us to believe he will put a stop to illegal immigration if elected president. The message is clear -- Mail order brides need not apply for the position of Mrs. Giuliani, número cuatro.
Mitt Romney: “This is divest I can do.”
Investments in embryonic stem-cell research and energy firms with business ties to Iran have not enhanced Romney’s conservative credentials. Here are some more he should avoid:
• Ronco illegal alien border-fence catapult
• Pfizer happy hour birth control pills
• Snap-on Tools’ easy-to-use opinion changer
• Parker Brothers Playboy mansion – home version
• China’s Best teeth whitener/antifreeze.
Mess-achusetts Musings
A 91-year-old Sutton man has been deported for being a Nazi involved in the destruction of Warsaw’s Jewish ghetto during World War II. When asked what he will miss most about the U.S.A., he replied, “Goose-stepping each year in the Southie St. Patrick's Day parade.”
Small Street Journal
Several publishers are offering excerpts of books that can be viewed on iPhones - "You've got to read ‘War and Peace,’ man. It's the greatest two paragraphs ever written!"
Don Imus may be returning to radio. As a concession, he will agree to dreadlock his eyebrows.
Inside Scoop
Barack Obama pledged to clean up Washington. Secret campaign plans call for the city to be world’s first lemon-scented capital.
Weekly Prediction
Fred Thompson will announce he only had A-C-L-U tattooed on his left buttock to win a bet.
