Political Shorts - 4
Politics / Humor - Dogging allegations
While waiting to appear with his future companion on “Oprah” to plug their new Boise bed and breakfast as well as his I’m-glad-I-got-that-off-my-newly-waxed-chest memoir, Sen. Larry Craig (R-Idaho) has hired a legal team that includes Michael Vick's lawyer, Billy Martin. This case may have nothing to do with a dog-fighting gambling ring, but it does raise the obvious question: When betting on anonymous men’s room sexual encounters, how can you tell who’s winning?
In a related story, Mitt Romney announced he’s never set foot in a public restroom.
In a related story to the related story, Mitt Romney announced he did knock on restroom stall doors in the 1960s but only while doing missionary work.
Three out of 18 missions accomplished is nothing to sneeze at
A draft of a GAO report says Iraq has met only three of 18 congressionally-mandated benchmarks for political and military progress. A White House spokesman disagreed, noting the report “failed to mention that the Green Zone Baskin-Robbins now carries Jamoca Jihad and Shiite Sherbet.”
And then the Jews and the Arabs will sing “Kumbaya”
According to a new book, “The Confidante: Condoleezza Rice and the Creation of the Bush Legacy,” Rice thought President Bush's Mideast peace program was unworkable. So much that she frequently confused it with President Bush's Mideast war program.
Mess-achusetts Musings
A bullet was shot through a Statehouse window during non-working hours. Authorities have narrowed the list of suspects to every Massachusetts taxpayer.
A former Registry of Motor Vehicles clerk was charged with stealing $76,000 from the agency. Prosecutors are recommending she be sentenced to the amount of time an average citizen has to wait in an RMV line to renew their license.
Small Street Journal
Sharp Corporation unveiled what it claims to be the world's thinnest LCD TV. The only problem: The main display is only 20 mm thick, meaning Kirstie Alley can only fit in the screen while holding her breath.
Inside Scoop
The only reason Fred Thompson will not run for president is if he’s offered the lead role in the film version of “Hee Haw.”
Media Bites
Fox News criticized CBS Evening News anchor Katie Couric for reporting from Iraq, wondering if it was a “ratings ploy or legitimate journalism.” Fox’s report was then interrupted by a breaking story about illegal aliens working as topless dancers.
Weekly Prediction
After winning the Texas Republican Party Straw Poll, Duncan Hunter will try to keep the momentum going by changing his legal name to Ronald Raygun.
