Political Shorts – 7
Politics / Humor - Top Stories
Mitt Romney released a 67-page booklet called “Strategy for a Stronger America” in which he presents 10 challenges for a stronger nation. Here are some challenges that didn't survive the first draft:
• Curbing out-of-control campaign promises
• Ending the tide of illegal immigrants -- after they've finished mowing my lawn
• Confronting radical jihad --- preferably with the help of somebody else’s kids
• Criminalizing abortion by Monday -- and legalizing it by Wednesday
• Winning the global economic competition -- while earning $8.50 an hour with no benefits
President Bush accused the Democratic Congress of out-of-control spending, proving once again, he’s the man who puts the chutz in chutzpah.
Rudy Giuliani “accidentally” received another cell phone call from his wife during a speech to the NRA. Will it help promote him as a family man? It depends if the call was from wife number 1, 2, or 3.
To anyone who thinks Hillary Clinton was out of line for calling Vice President Dick Cheney, Darth Vader, consider this: Have you ever seen Dick Cheney and Darth Vader together?
Mess-achusetts Musings
An MIT student was arrested after entering Logan International Airport with a device strapped to her chest that appeared to be a bomb. Authorities first became suspicious when she asked a ticket agent if there were any seats left in the exploding section.
A woman is suing the Franklin Park Zoo after being attacked by Little Joe, an escaped 300-pound gorilla. It was also revealed that Little Joe has already attacked 38 students in his anger management class.
Media Bites
Dan Rather filed a $70-million lawsuit against CBS, claiming they made him a "scapegoat" for the questionable story about President Bush's military service. Rather is also asking for the return of his lucky coffee mug.
Small Street Journal
MarryOurDaughter.com, a matrimony-for-money Web site that enables parents to sell their daughters off to the highest bidder, turned out to be a hoax. Upon learning this, Rudy Giuliani revoked three of his bids.
Inside Scoop
Barack Obama hones his likeability skills by watching old Perry Como video tapes.
Weekly prediction
Congress’s approval rating will sink even lower after it fails for pass a non-binding resolution stating: “War is a bummer, dude.”
