Assuming the need for mood-altering meds has already been ruled out by your physician, Spike thinks that what you really need is a new perspective on life, Down.

First of all, what’s the point of dwelling on regrets? The past has passed and no matter how much time you spend reliving it the outcome is always going to be the same. Do you think that if you keep watching "Moonstruck" over and over that maybe one time Cher's performance will actually deserve an Oscar? Hell no. All you can do is learn from your mistakes and move forward.

And what makes you think that you’ve already done everything you ever will? If you’re in reasonable health, you still probably have another 20 to 30 years left. That may not seem like a lot now because as we get older time seems to compress, but 20+ years is a very long time...especially if you’re miserable the whole time. 20+ years is the difference between being born and graduating college. It’s certainly more than enough time to have new experiences. Look at Madonna. She didn’t start faking an interest in the Kabbalah until she was well into her 60s, had her first kid at 70, and didn’t take up yoga until she was almost 80. So there’s plenty of time for you to have new experiences.

The key is to set some goals for yourself. First ask yourself what you’ve always wanted to do that you haven’t, and what you’d like to accomplish or experience in the time you have left. Then outline some concrete steps to help you realize those dreams. If you want to travel, start saving the money and planning an ideal itinerary now. If you want to become a taxidermist, starting taking classes and killing small animals now (Spike jests, of course, about that second part). The point is that to get to anywhere else you have to start by taking a first step now.

The reality is that you may never actually achieve your goals, but that doesn’t matter. So long as you have something to work toward you’ll find your life more fulfilling. Remember the whole “life is a journey, not a destination” thing.

The other thing you might try is to make some immediate changes to improve the quality of your life, like getting the hell out of Revere. If that’s not possible (because you don't drive and your parole officer and/or the meth clinic are within walking distance), you might consider adopting a pet...assuming your last one didn't die of boredom from listening to you whine endlessly about your miserable life.

Now adopting a pet isn’t something to be undertaken lightly because it does require a strong commitment on your part, but nothing will give your life meaning faster than to know that you have another creature that depends on you completely and loves you unconditionally...like Liza Minelli during the first month of marriage. Studies show that pet owners live longer and are happier than people without pets. Besides, it doesn't sound like you have anything better to do than follow around a little fuzz ball and pick up its poop. www.petfinder.com is a great resource for finding all sorts of critters in need of homes in your area.

So buck up, Down. As that profound philosopher Hannah Montana sings, “Life’s What You Make It.”

Ciao for now,
Spike

Spike is NOT a licensed therapist and has NO training whatsoever in psychology or human behavior, but as he frequently says, “the fucking President has no qualifications for his job either, and look how well he’s doing.” DISCLAIMER: Spike and Online OffBeat take no responsibility whatsoever for advice given in Spike Sez. Submit questions at your own risk to spike@onlineoffbeat.com. If no questions are submitted, Spike will make them up.