Advice - Spike Sez offers no-nonsense, practical advice for the lovelorn, lost, and stupid. If you feel you fit into one of these categories and have a related question, submit it to spike@onlineoffbeat.com, and if he feels like it Spike may respond.

Spike is NOT a licensed therapist and has NO training whatsoever in psychology or human behavior, but as he frequently says, “the fucking President has no qualifications for his job either, and look how well he’s doing.” Spike Sez is not affiliated with Spike TV, Spike Lee, or anyone else purporting to be named Spike.

Dear Spike — Last night my partner, Cristopher, and I were out at a club and we met a guy named Ray who was visiting from LA. He was a really great guy and we hung out all night talking and drinking and dancing together. I have to admit that I found him really attractive and it seemed like the attraction was mutual. It also seemed like there was some mutual chemistry between Ray and Cristopher. At the end of the night, we exchanged phone numbers and made tentative plans for all of us to met up again before Ray leaves town.

After we got home and were laying in bed Cristopher suddenly asked me what I thought about the idea of having a threesome with Ray. I was shocked and excited at the prospect. Cristopher and I are both in our early 30s and we’ve been together for 5 years. In all that time we’ve never even talked about introducing a third party into our sex life and so far as I know we’ve both been completely faithful.

I wasn’t sure if he was serious or not so I just kind of laughed it off and said, “Sure, honey, whatever you want.” I figured when he was sobered up he’d forget all about it. But this morning at breakfast he asked me if I was serious about going through with the threesome. It actually kind of bothered me that he brought it up again because I started to feel insecure and it made me wonder if he’s been wanting to have sex with other guys for a while. I asked him and he reassured me that he’s very happy with our sex life but that it was obvious that we were both attracted to Ray so why not have an adventure?

What he said makes sense, and the idea of a threesome with Ray is very exciting, but at the same time the whole thing is making me kind of uncomfortable. What do you think I should do? Ray is only here for another 3 days so I have to make a decision quickly.

Thanks,
— On the Fence, Chicago

Dear Fence — You need to make a decision within 3 days and you’re writing to Spike? What, like Spike has nothing better to do at 7 on a Sunday morning than read and immediately respond to his readers’ letters? Well you happen to be in luck because the circus midgets had to get back home so the orgy broke up early this morning.