Political Shorts – 10
Politics / Humor -Top Stories
President Bush has imposed new sanctions against Myanmar. These include:
• Cancellation of “Queer Eye for the Myanmar Guy”
• Import ban on all Myanmarian brutal military officer bobble-head dolls
• No more White House Myanmarian karaoke nights
• Removal of the Myanmar double cheese burger from all restaurant menus
• No Myanmar NFL expansion team
Hillary Clinton said illegal immigrants will not be covered by her proposed healthcare plan -- unless they can afford a $50,000 co-payment in her also-proposed "Norman Hsu Campaign Donation Health Plan."
Lynne Cheney said she’d be uncomfortable with Hillary Clinton as president -- and yet she goes to bed each night knowing she may be shot in the face.
Critics question Nancy Pelosi's decision to push for an Armenian genocide resolution in Congress -- particularly since we’ve yet to acknowledge the brutal thumpings received by the Notre Dame football team.
Mess-achusetts Musings
A commission, charged with protecting Cape Cod's natural resources, has denied Cape Wind Associates permission to build the proposed Nantucket Sound wind farm. They did, however, approve mandatory propeller hats on windy days.
Governor Deval Patrick has endorsed Barack Obama for president. When asked if he was worried about Hillary Clinton’s reaction, Patrick said, “I’ll tell you after my assistant starts my car.”
Small Street Journal
The Fox Business Network began broadcasting. It’s the first business channel that doesn’t assume its viewers know how to spell B-U-S-I-N-E-S-S.
Media Bites
A frustrated cable customer from Virginia was fined and received a suspended jail sentence for entering a Comcast office and smashing equipment with a hammer. In her defense, she said she notified Comcast she’d be commencing her rampage "sometime" between 8 and 12 PM.
Inside Scoop
To receive evangelist Bob Jones III’s endorsement during the primary race, Mitt Romney had to promise he wouldn’t seek the Satan’s endorsement during the general race.
Weekly prediction
A Hasidic Jew from Crown Heights, New York will claim his great great great Uncle Shlomo Cheney was the founder of the neighborhood’s first and only undisclosed schul.
