Political Shorts – 12
Politics / Humor -Top Stories
Hillary Clinton said the other candidates are not piling onto her because she’s a woman, but because she's winning. Bill Clinton said it doesn't matter. He just loves the image.
Fred Thompson said he was unaware of his campaign co-chairman’s drug dealing past. Although in retrospect, Philip Martin's nickname, “Mr. Medellín,” should have tipped him off.
Former Vice President Walter Mondale has endorsed Sen. Hillary Clinton for president. In addition to his support, Mondale told Clinton, “Feel free to use my ‘Where’s the beef?’ line. It never fails to kill.”
The New York Times reports the Bush administration is considering plans to close Guantanamo prison. Here are five possible uses for it:
• Guantanamo Bed, Breakfast, & Waterboarding Inn.
• Disney World - Guantanamo -- It’s a small cell after all.
• George W. Bush Presidential Library and Enhanced Interrogation Center.
• Club Med - Guantanamo -- You’ll come for the sun. You'll stay because we say so.
• Motel 6 - Guantanamo -- We’ll leave the light on -- until you talk.
Mess-achusetts Musings
Boston Mayor Tom Menino injured his knee lifting the World Series trophy, thus cementing the city’s reputation as America’s most out-of-shape sports town.
Small Street Journal
Singapore Airlines, the first operator of the new Airbus A380, is asking passengers to refrain from sex while in its first-class suites, which have double beds. However, to appease frisky customers, Barry White music will be piped into each restroom.
Media Bites
Shock jock Don Imus will return to the airwaves Dec. 3, on New York's WABC-AM. Imus says he will never again use offensive language -- until the writers strike is settled.
Inside Scoop
Mike Gravel’s wife has irrefutable proof that his first cousin is King Tut.
Weekly prediction
The Republican presidential campaign will have a new leader after the National Enquirer publishes a photo of a meatball resembling Ronald Reagan shaking hands with Tom Tancredo.
