Political Shorts – 24
Politics / Humor - Top Stories
Barack Obama’s easy victory in the South Carolina Democratic primary and his overwhelming support from blacks indicate the Clintons have not reached out enough to African Americans. Here are some suggestions for Bill and Hillary:
• Secure a new quote from Toni Morrison: “Hillary Clinton will be the nation’s first Black Panther president.”
• Post a Hillary and Charles Rangel “I Got You Babe” duet on YouTube.
• Suggest the Clinton’s are equally involved in the White- and Blackwater scandals.
• Claim that Hillary’s mother marched with Martin Luther King and George Romney.
• Spread a rumor: Barack Obama’s real father was a Rhodesian plantation owner named Emil.
John McCain has accused Mitt Romney of being a manager and not a leader. Romney responded with a scathing PowerPoint presentation.
Caroline Kennedy has endorsed Barack Obama. Asked why, she responded: “After marrying a Jew, endorsing a black for president was the only way I could get my grandfather to roll back over in his grave.”
Vice President Dick Cheney's daughter Liz has signed on as one of Mitt Romney's senior foreign policy advisers. Her best advice: "Whatever my dad did, do the opposite."
Bay State Bombast
Governor Deval Patrick filed a $28.2 billion budget -- most of which will be funded by scratch tickets.
Small Street Journal
Wal-Mart says more than half its workers are signed up for the company’s health plan. They also announced that the deductible has been lowered for sniffing aspirin residue off pharmacy shelves.
Media Bites
The FCC has proposed a $1.4 million fine against 52 ABC Television Network stations for airing a scene that depicted “multiple, close-up views” of a woman's “nude buttocks.” It’s also investigating the airing of a map of Europe which turned out to be Dennis Franz’s left buttock.
Inside Scoop
According to the latest polls, the one thing Rudy Giuliani has most in common with Florida voters is prostate problems.
Weekly Prediction
Fed Chairman Ben Bernanke will pledge to shave his beard every day until inflation is under control.
