Political Shorts – 25
Politics / Humor - Top Stories
Five biggest questions that will decide Super Tuesday:
• Does Romney have enough hair gel to cover 20 States?
• Can Hillary Clinton get her likeability ratings above Osama bin Laden’s?
• Will Rush Limbaugh’s meds kick in before his attacks on John McCain cause irreparable damage?
• Can Bill and Hillary stop Roger Clinton from endorsing Barack Obama?
• Will Mike Huckabee be able to channel an endorsement from Stonewall Jackson?
Bad week for Rudy #1 -- Rudy Giuliani's concession speech included thanks to his wife, Judith, her daughter, Whitney -- but not his own kids. Apparently, he’s still angry at them for skipping Thanksgiving at his mistress’ apartment.
Bad week for Rudy #2 -- Diego Caiola of Miami Beach gives a two-hour Gianni Versace Murder Tour that ends in front of the mansion where the former fashion designer was shot. It's almost as popular as the tour that ends where Rudy Giuliani's candidacy died
Barack Obama raised $32 million in January. He has now raised enough money to become what used to be referred to as a Republican candidate.
Bay State Bombast
Massachusetts politicians are evenly divided in their support for the Democratic presidential candidates. There’s the “I’m with Obama” camp and the “Oh my God, I’ve pissed off Ted Kenney by supporting Hillary” camp.
Small Street Journal
Microsoft has bid $44.6 billion to buy Yahoo. In related news, Bill Gates has delayed construction of his planned 110-story guest house.
Media Bites
CNN set a record at the Democratic presidential debate in Los Angles for the most cutaway shots to absorbed celebrities.
Inside Scoop
Had the Clinton’s strategy for winning the South Carolina Primary succeeded, Bill was prepared to start accidentally referring to “O.J. Obama.”
Weekly Prediction
Mike Huckabee intends to clinch the Alabama Primary by announcing on Monday he talks to Christ through a possum.
