Wondering Wife
Advice - Spike Sez offers no-nonsense, practical advice for the lovelorn, lost, and stupid. If you feel you fit into one of these categories and have a related question, submit it to spike@onlineoffbeat.com, and if he feels like it Spike may respond.
Spike is NOT a licensed therapist and has NO training whatsoever in psychology or human behavior, but as he frequently says, “the fucking President has no qualifications for his job either, and look how well he’s doing.” Spike Sez is not affiliated with Spike TV, Spike Lee, or anyone else purporting to be named Spike.
Dear Spike — I don’t really need your advice, but I want your opinion on something.
The other night my husband and I had a party with some friends and colleagues. While we were having cocktails the subject of political sex scandals came up (Eliot Spitzer and Bill Clinton, in particular). Much to my surprise, the men were much more adament in their condemnations than the women. The women all seemed to feel that mistakes happen and that while cheating is wrong, it doesn’t mean that a politician can’t still do a good job. The men, on the other hand, felt that cheating was evidence of poor character and judgment and therefore made the guilty parties unfit for political office.
Why do you think men are less forgiving of politicians’ infidelities than women? I would think it would be the other way around since in all of the instances we were discussing the wives were the victims.
I should probably tell you that all of our guests were married and ranged in age from early-40s to late-50s. It was a pretty even mixture of Republicans and Democrats. Most of the women, like myself, are stay-at-home moms and most of the men work in finance, earning fairly substantial salaries.
Any insights? And by the way, which candidate are you supporting for the Presidential election? Just curious.
— Enid, Weston, MA
Dear Enid — Wow. Last week a letter from Wellesley and this week a letter from WESTON! Who knew that Spike was so well read by the Boston-area elite? Spike feels just like Florence, the maid on “The Jeffersons”: still doing the same crappy job, but at a much better address.
Now let’s see if Spike has this right: a bunch of rich, middle-aged men at a party vigorousy condemned some other rich, middle-aged men for cheating on their wives. Hmmm. Why would THAT be?
Griiiiind. Splash. Drip, drip, drip. RIIIINNNNGGGGG!!!! Time to wake up and smell the coffee, Enid! Do you suppose maybe it was BECAUSE THEIR WIVES WERE IN THE ROOM?
Good Lord, Enid, what did you expect them to say? “Gee, I don’t see anything wrong with that?” It’s called self-preservation. No rich guy of prime cheating age is going to say he doesn’t have a problem with infidelity in front of his wife. That would be just like saying, “Hey honey, why don’t you hire a private detective to follow me around and put wiretaps on my phone? Oh, and while you’re at it, start checking all the charges on my credit cards each month.” A man would have to be a special kind of stupid (to quote Marsha Warfield) to step into a pile of shit like that.
And be honest, Enid. When you and other little wifeys said, “mistakes happen,” you didn’t really mean that either, did you? You just wanted to see what your husbands would say if you made it sound like you didn’t think cheating was such a big deal. You were trying to lull them into a false sense of security so they’d reveal their true feelings.
And what’s more, Spike suspects you already knew the truth about what was happening at the party and just wanted to see if Spike would betray his gender by confirming it. Well guess what? He would, because Spike thinks that infidelity is the most horrendous and unforgivable act imaginable...as his husband who reads this column would undoubtedly tell you. It’s just bad, bad, bad.
You clearly have way too much time on your hands, Enid. Perhaps if you spent a little more of your stay-at-home-mom time being a mom, or showing your husband that you appreciate the fact that he busts his ass so you can loll around your big house in Weston all day, you wouldn’t have to worry abut whether he’s planning to trade you in for a younger model, and you wouldn’t be wasting Spike’s time with your clever little games.
As for your question about which candidate Spike is supporting in the next election, Spike supports no one...because Spike is a sovereign nation.
So ciao for now,
Spike
DISCLAIMER: Spike and Online OffBeat take no responsibility whatsoever for advice given in Spike Sez. Submit questions at your own risk to spike@onlineoffbeat.com. If no questions are submitted, Spike will make them up.
