Political Shorts – 44
Politics / Humor - Top Stories
Barack Obama has launched a Web site to dispel rumors about him and his wife. Among them:
• He earned his Harvard Law School tuition by working as an Arthur Murray dance instructor.• Michelle Obama plays a secret game with her children each night that begins with “This little honky went to market.”
• His first act as president will be to award Yemen an NBA franchise.
• “The Audacity of Hope” is Louis Farrakhan’s ATM pin code.
• Michelle Obama’s real middle name is Trotsky.
Less than a month after declaring polar bears an endangered species, the Bush administration is giving energy companies permission to annoy and potentially harm them while searching for oil and natural gas. This has caused a sudden increase in the “Polar Bears for Obama” population.
President Bush expressed concern to those affected by flooding in the Midwest. He said aid will be on the way as soon as the governor of the Midwest requests it.
President Bush and British Prime Minister Gordon Brown are meeting to share Iraq war strategies:
Brown: What do you have?
Bush: Me? I thought you were supposed to bring the strategy.
Small Street Journal
Belgian brewer InBev has made a $46 billion unsolicited bid to buy Anheuser-Busch Cos. Inc. The company denies it also plans on replacing the Clydesdales with Lipizzaner horses.
Media Bites
The evolution of broadcast legends:
Past - Edward R. Murrow(CBS) was best known for introducing America to the war in Europe with his rooftop radio broadcasts during the Battle of Britain in 1939, and taking on Senator Joseph McCarthy (and his own network) in an episode of “See It Now” that one critic said “may be remembered as the week that broadcasting recaptured its soul.”Present - Tim Russert (NBC) was best known for interviewing countless political figures while as the longest-tenured host of NBC’s “Meet the Press,” and writing two best-selling books, including the “Big Russ and Me” about his relationship with his father.
Future - Hannah Montana (Fox News) will be best known for winning a Mr. Peabody Award for correctly pronouncing the first name of the current president, and conducting the first topless interview with a foreign head of state.
Inside Scoop
The Bush administration, unhappy with the recent Supreme Court decision that gave suspected terrorist detainees a right to seek their release in federal courts, is considering appealing the case to the “American Idol” judges.
Weekly Prediction
An organization representing thousands of comedy writers will demand Hillary Clinton find some reason, no matter how crazy (actually, the crazier the better), to re-enter the presidential race.
