Political Shorts – 48
Politics / Humor - Top Stories
Barack Obama’s progressive supporters are feeling nervous and disappointed about their man’s drift to the center. Drastic measures are needed to left his boat. Here are a few suggestions:
• Get an “I ♥ Noam Chomsky” tattoo• Promise to appoint a Secretary of Composting
• Play at least one game of Ultimate Frisbee with Keith Olbermann
• Pledge to blog at least one State of the Union address
• Confess to having indecent thoughts about Arianna Huffington
Miss USA, Crystle Stewart, has endorsed Barack Obama. The McCain Campaign immediately announced their candidate had been endorsed by Miss 13 Colonies.
John McCain strongly disagreed with his economic advisor, former Texas Senator Phil Graham, who called Americans “whiners” for complaining about the economy. As a matter of precaution, McCain also said he disagreed with for his homeless orphans advisor.
The Bush administration dismissed the recommendations of its top experts and rejected regulating greenhouse gases because it would negatively affect the U.S. economy. And a nation thanks them for keeping it humming along.
Small Street Journal
Technical problems have plagued the launch of Apple’s new iPhone. The company is hoping customers can be patient until the new upgrade model goes on sale next week.
Media Bites
Magazine ad sales have fallen 8.2 percent in the second quarter. To save money, Vogue’s new perfume ads will be scratch but not sniff.
Inside Scoop
Rep. Charles Rangel has a fifth rent-controlled apartment in which he keeps hotel towels, robes, and glasses.
Weekly Prediction
John McCain will run out of advisors before Labor Day.
