Political Shorts – 49
Politics / Humor - Top Stories
By now you’re familiar with the New Yorker cover depicting Barack and Michelle Obama as radical Muslims -- the fist bumping, the burning flag in the fireplace, Michelle’s Afro hairstyle and ammo belt, and so on. A closer look, however, reveals even more insidious items.
• A lapel on Obama’s robe with no American flag pin• A rug vacuumed by an undocumented Guatemalan maid
• A note reminding President Obama of his meeting with Secretary of State Michael Moore
• A chair which in 20 minutes will contain a restrained Jesse Jackson begging to keep his testicles
• An exorbitant $4.50 price for newsstands and anyone who has recited the Pledge of Allegiance within the past 24 hours
While in Michigan, John McCain pledged to help rebuild the auto industry -- even if it means rebuilding it in Mexico.
A groundbreaking interfaith conference held in Madrid ended on a sour note when the Muslims and Jews could not agree from which delicatessen to order lunch.
President Bush has agreed upon a time “horizon" for bringing more troops back from Iraq. He added, “Horizon is the best plan, although we could’ve gotten free HBO with Comcast.”
Polls show that Barack Obama’s backers are more enthusiastic about their candidate than John McCain’s. However, John McCain’s backers are more enthusiastic about a McCain / Romney ticket that also includes dinner and an Elvis impersonator.
Small Street Journal
Texas has given preliminary approval for a $4.9 billion plan to build new transmission lines to carry wind-generated electricity from West Texas to urban areas. Until the infrastructure is completed, power will be generated by thousands minimum wage workers rubbing their feet on a giant carpet.
Media Bites
Al Gore addressed a crowd at the Netroots Nation conference in Austin, Texas. He received a standing ovation and invitations to stay in hundreds of parents’ basements.
Inside Scoop
Barack Obama was shocked to learn that the Afghani translation for “Change we can believe in” is “’Happy Days’ is my favorite TV show.’”
Weekly Prediction
Evangelical Christians will rally behind John McCain after a 13-year-old girl from Colorado Springs claims to see an image of the Virgin Mary on his forehead.
