Political Shorts – 50
Politics / Humor - Top Stories
Barack Obama attracting a crowd of more than 200,000 people is impressive. To put it in perspective, here are the only ways John McCain could draw an audience as large:
• Watch John McCain attempt to jump the Snake River Canyon in his Straight Talk Express!• John McCain’s Early Bird Special of the Century: All the Au Gratin Potatoes You Can Eat!
• Listen to John McCain speak and win a free iPhone!
• Tonight, John McCain talks about buying real estate with no money down!
• John McCain and Madonna like you’ve never seen them!
The Russian Foreign Ministry criticized President Bush for equating Nazi fascism with Soviet communism. Bush responded by noting, “Hey, I’m not the one who voted for Adolph Stalin.”
Barack Obama said he’ll base his choice of vice president on the ability to govern, not geography. A disappointed Senator Evan Bayh said, “Damn, I just spent the past month memorizing state capitols!”
In his party's weekly radio address, Democratic Sen. Jack Reed said America can’t afford to write “blank check after blank check” to pay for the Iraq war. He added, “We need those blank checks to pay for farm subsidies.”
Barack Obama thinks he can actually win some Red states. In fact, his campaign’s motto in Alabama is: No, seriously, I’m running for president.
Small Street Journal
The housing bill expected to be signed by President Bush would provide mortgage relief to thousands of Americans. The bill would also make it a felony for any recipient to appear on Bravo’s “Flipping Out.”
Media Bites
Federal regulators approved the merger of Sirius and XM, the nation's only two satellite radio operators after receiving assurances that both company’s Uzbecki hip hop shows would remain separate.
Inside Scoop
John McCain’s media consultants pulled the plug on a “Morning in America” type ad after their candidate insisted they add the line, “Please pass the prunes.”
Weekly Prediction
MSNBC’s Keith Olbermann will be placed on medical leave after developing a condition that causes him to get an erection whenever he says “Barack Obama.”
