Political Shorts – 52
Politics / Humor - Top Stories
John Edwards’s ex-mistress refuses to participate in DNA testing to establish the paternity of her daughter. However, there are other ways to determine if Edwards is the father:
- Is the child naturally drawn to mirrors?
- Does she become increasingly egocentric and narcissistic when she needs a nap?
- Were her first words something about there being two daycare centers?
- Has she asked her mother to build her a 25,000-square-foot nursery?
- Did she request to be burped on “Nightline”?
- He didn’t meet Rielle Hunter in an airport restroom.
- He can now throw caution to the wind and switch cream rinses.
- Things could have been much worse; he could’ve gone with Paris Hilton’s videographer.
- He can now use his real picture on Match.com
- There will always be desperate single women who will fall for his “Can I borrow your hair brush?” line.
Small Street Journal
Moving companies in North Carolina are bidding on the state’s biggest contract in years: moving John Edwards’ belongings from his bedroom to his den.
Media Bites
It’s easy to question whether mainstream journalists should’ve been more on top of the John Edwards’ mistress story. Keep in mind, however, this would have required pulling valuable resources off the “Did Hillary really cry?” and “Is Obama an elitist?” stories.
Inside Scoop
The National Enquirer decided to go with the John Edwards, Rielle Hunter story after it failed to verify a source for its Ron Paul, Big Foot story.
Weekly Prediction
John Edwards will be staggered by a tranquilizer gun while attempting to enter the Democratic Convention in Denver.
