Political Shorts – 54
Politics / Humor - Top Stories
Sarah Palin’s refusal to talk with the press proves one thing: The less we know about her the more we like her. Does having a talking soccer mom doll (recorded sound bites compliments of Karl Rove) a heart beat away from being the leader of the semi-free world bother you? Not to worry. Consider the following:
- If you're really curious about where she stands on the issues, you can always ask a Bush speech writer.
- Isn’t having one candidate on a ticket answering “I don’t know” to countless questions scary enough?
- What woman wouldn’t mind giving up her right to choose if she knows she can sell her unwanted child on eBay?
- Is there really any difference between knowing something about foreign policy, economics, and healthcare; and knowing how to kill a moose?
- Howard Hughes never talked to the press and he did a pretty good job running the world.
Sarah Palin has electrified the Republican ticket. At their last rally alone, 45 percent of the attendees said they came to see Palin, 20 percent said they came to seen John McCain, and 35 percent came to see an image of the Virgin Mary on a grilled cheese sandwich.
The widely-circulated Internet photo of Sarah Palin wearing a bikini and holding a rifle turned out to be a fraud. As it turns out, someone else’s head was PhotoShopped on Palin’s body.
Joe Biden said he’s looking forward to debating Sarah Palin. His advisors are already briefing him on PTA trivia and birthin’ babies.
Oprah says she’ll be happy to have Sarah Palin on her show after the election -- along with Jamie Lynn Spears’ mom.
Democrats are counting on Hillary Clinton to take on Sarah Palin. No word on where the first chugalug contest will be held.
Small Street Journal
Last year, authorities reported 42 methamphetamine labs in Sarah Palin’s hometown of Wasilla, Alaska. Or as Palin calls them: small mom and pop businesses run by “real” American drug addicts.
Media Bites
Sarah Palin may agree to answer questions from Larry King as long as none of the questions are, “Will you marry me?”
Inside Scoop
John McCain chose Sarah Palin as his running mate after receiving a hot-oil massage from Phyllis Schlafly.
Weekly Prediction
Bristol Palin and Levi Johnston will make history by being the first couple caught dry humping during a presidential inauguration.
