Politics / Humor - Top Stories
Okay, she’s not running for president. But what could we expect from a Sarah Palin presidency?
- ”Uh oh! General Petraeus, winking at you was NOT my signal to attack Russia!”
- ”Why would an intelligent person have to read an Intelligence Report?”
- ”I’m a firm believer in No Child Left Behind. But we also need to focus on the right cheek.”
- ”My fellow Joe Six packs,…”
”You call yourself a Treasury Secretary? Where’s your treasure map?”
Experts believe a national push to register convicted felons to vote could help Barack Obama -- so says the head of the organization, Chain Gangs We Can Believe In.
The Supreme Court begins a new term with cases including a government crackdown on obscene words on television. The case is U.S v. Kiss my #40&?#%&, you *&^%$!
Under pressure to raise money, New York State is contemplating leasing some of its assets to private contractors. Among the items being considered would be the Verizon-Times Square Hookers.
Sarah Palin questioned John McCain’s decision to withdraw his campaign from Michigan after reading about it in the newspaper. When asked which paper, she said “All of them.”
Small Street Journal
The $700 billion Wall Street bailout bill had so much pork it was the first piece of legislation ever to smell like bacon.
Media Bites
Thursday’s vice presidential debate drew 69.9 million TV viewers, most of who thought they were watching a preliminary round of “Are You Smarter than a 5th Grader?”
Inside Scoop
Joe Biden has spent 67 percent of his life sitting around a kitchen table.
Weekly Prediction
Bill O’Reilly and Barney Frank’s passionate screaming match on O’Reilly’s show will continue and eventually culminate with both being asked to leave a Provincetown bed and breakfast.
ben.alper@onlineoffbeat.com
