Bay State Bombast - 23
Politics / Humor
Fidelity announced it's cutting 1,300 jobs. It also used the occasion to unveil its new Asset Mismanagement and Stifled Growth funds.
Rumor 1: Deval Patrick will leave office to take a job in the Obama administration -- just as soon as he can find 1200 college students willing to rent his Berkshire manse for $27,000 a month.
Rumor 2: John Kerry will leave office to be Barack Obama's Secretary of State -- just as soon as his possible successor, Marty Meehan, can hire an excavator to dig up his war chest.
Rumor 3: Ray Flynn will leave no particular office to be Barack Obama's Ambassador to the Knights of Columbus.
Officials are scrambling to prepare for the State's newly-liberalized marijuana laws. Backers of the bill assured authorities they should "just chill out and pass the Doritos."
