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February 22, 2009

The Little Politician Who Could

Ben.GIF
Humor / Politics - After slipping into the U.S. Senate when other ethically-challenged politicians wouldn’t have even tried, Senator Roland Burris is heading down the homestretch.

rolandburris-01.jpg

“I think I can stay in the Senate. I think I can stay in the Senate.”

Keep changing your story, Roland. The water is getting muddier.
“I think I can stay in the Senate. I think I can stay in the Senate.”

What’s that you say? You helped Rod Blagojevich smuggle guns into Serbia in 1992 or was it 1993? No problem. Just keep changing those names and dates. Sooner or later we’ll lose track and lose interest.
“I think I can stay in the Senate. I think I can stay in the Senate.”

And remember, it never hurts to refer to your second and third mausoleums, even if they don’t exist. Confusion and distraction are your best friends.
“I think I can stay in the Senate. I think I can stay in the Senate.”

ben.alper@onlineoffbeat.com

February 14, 2009

Nice Work If You Can Keep It

Ben.GIF
Humor / Politics
5 questions to ask the next Obama cabinet nominee:


  • Where do you see yourself in two days?

  • Are those your tax returns in your pocket or are you happy to see me?

  • Have you ever been asked to leave a position? (Missionary does not count.)

  • Does it bother you that you’re our 20th choice for this job?

  • Does it bother you that you’re our our 20th choice for this job after Rod Blagojevich and Carrot Top?

ben.alper@onlineoffbeat.com