This Week in Tweets
Humor
- Terrorists tried to assassinate the president of the Russian republic of Ingushetia. Republicans demand Obama find out where Ingushetia is.
- Republicans have been urging President Obama to get tougher with Iran. When will he finally show some backbone and ban Persian cats?
- The split-up of Jon & Kate raises a very important question: Should couples stay together for the sake of the ratings?
- Report: Mahmoud Ahmadinejad will be sworn in as president by August. Aretha Franklin has begun rehearsing "Amazing Grace" in Farsi.
- Dick Cheney has a book deal to write his memoir, tentatively called "You Gotta Have Heart and Another Heart and Another Heart, and...
- The Gov. Sanford affair proves 1 thing: If Republicans really cared about the economy, they wouldn't be outsourcing their mistresses.
- Italian premier Silvio Berlusconi has a name for what South Carolina Gov. Mark Sanford did: his Thursday morning appointment.
- If not for Farrah Fawcett, I might’ve become Charlie's first male Angel. Perhaps it’s time for me to let go.
- I’ll always remember what I was doing when Michael Jackson died: remembering what I was doing when Farrah Fawcett died.
- A Nestle USA cookie dough factory has refused to provide FDA inspectors its pest-control records. So much for revealing its secret recipe.
- Federal Prosecutors recommend Bernie Madoff be sentenced to 150 years in jail. His lawyer thinks he can get it knocked down to 125.
