This Week in Tweets
Humor
- It appears Michael Jackson was taking enough painkillers to kill a horse – or Rush Limbaugh.
- A Kentucky church celebrated gun rights and then its new 11th commandment: Thou shall pop a cap in thy neighbor if he covets thy wife.
- You have to admire S.C. Gov. Mark Sanford's wife, Jenny. This is the kind of first lady I'd proudly -- and respectfully -- cheat on.
- It's been a tough week, beginning with the death of Jon and Kate's reality TV careers.
- Steve Jobs is back on the job. Finally, his minions will be able to check out liver 2.0.
- New study indicates widening generation gap in US. It must have been done by some crazy wet-behind-the-ear kid.
- LAPD interviewed Michael Jackson's doctors. The ones who took care of him or the ones who assembled him?
- A man has designed a truck that runs on garbage. His next invention will be a robot that talks trash.
- The big question about Bernie Madoff in prison: How long before he tires of checking off each day on his 150-year calendar?
- Apparently, Gov. Sanford has been confusing “spiritual advisor” with wingman.
- This just in -- Al Sharpton and Gloria Allred just checked themselves into rehab for microphone and camera addiction.
- Michael Jackson’s will estimates the value of his estate at more than $500 mil. $600 if you include the contents of his medicine cabinet.
- Poll: 64% say there’s too much Michael Jackson media coverage. The other 36 need to know when doctors will begin cloning Michael’s nose.
- NY Rep. Charlie Rangel claims drug companies have been stealing from the people. An outraged Rangel added, “Hey, that’s my job.”
- Eleven Boston police officers have been disciplined steroid use. Hence, the department’s new motto: To Protect and Pump You Up.
- What will Apple do about its new iPhones that keep overheating? Here's a thought: "Introducing the new iFire!"
