This Week in Tweets
Humor
- Hawaii's marks 50th anniversary of statehood. Many conservatives demand to see a birth certificate.
- North Dakota town claims to set world record for the most fire trucks in a parade -- and the record for most unattended fires.
- McNabb says he and Vick could pose double threat. Dog and cat fighting?
- Pakistan captures Taliban's top spokesman. All he's said so far is "No comment" and "I'll have to get back to you on that."
- Man carrying assault weapon attends Obama protest. Too bad the 2nd Amendment applies to people with only 2nd grade educations.
- Tom DeLay joins the cast of "Dancing With the Stars." In a related story, Paula Abdul has become a pharmaceutical company lobbyist.
- Large CA fire caused by marijuana farm. Authorities say they'll have the blaze under control whenever.
- N. Korea to reopen border with S. Korea and resume tourism ventures. To compete, Disneyland to open "It's a Starving World After All."
- SC Gov. Sanford heads off for reserve duty. "Honey, I'm not the one who scheduled maneuvers in Buenos Aires."
- Study finds tiny traces of cocaine on US dollars -- as evidenced by George Washington's white mustache.
- Michael Jackson burial set for August 29. Beginning of rumors that he never died set for August 30.
- Federal study shows mercury in fish widespread. Related story: Red Lobster to sell scallops that take their own temperature.
- Texas woman arrested for fighting with 13-year-old boy in wheelchair. Her Nobel Peace price now in serious jeopardy.
- Reality TV contestant sought in ex-model's death -- or is that the plot for a new reality show?
- Naked passenger arrested on St. Louis to Oakland flight. "Forgive me for trying to speed up the strip search line."
- Michelle Obama still catching flack for wearing shorts on Air Force One. It still beats Bill Clinton's clothing optional flights.
- Starbucks raises prices on some beverages. The good news? Frappuccino financing is now available.
- Plaxico Burress pleads guilty to accidentally shooting himself. During sentencing, he's expected to read a victim statement to himself.
- Cash for Clunkers to end on Monday -- just in time for GM to announce its new 2010 clunkers.
