This Week in Tweets
Humor
- North Korea opens 1st fast-food restaurant. Most popular item so far: the Sad Meal.
- Connecticut authorities discover canary fighting ring, seize 100 birds. Still looking for the tailor who makes the little boxing trunks.
- Former US Sen. Larry Craig opens consulting firm. His new office is the 3rd stall from the left.
- Hawaii again declares Obama birth certificate real. Birthers now questioning whether Hawaii is a state.
- New Taser gun can shock 3 people without reloading. It can stop a white trash family in their tracks.
- New Henry Louis Gates arrest theory: Has anyone checked for a bigot on a grassy knoll?
- Detroit man says stress led him to rob banks. Plus, it was more profitable than yoga.
- La. Sen. Vitter says he'll vote against Sotomayor -- and promises not to have sex with her.
- Woman accused of running strip club in basement. It was the only club where the stripping pole had a garden hose hanging from it.
- Fox's Glenn Beck says he believes Obama is racist. In Beck's defense, he thinks racist means someone who bets on the horses.
- Study: tanning beds as deadly as arsenic. On the plus side, you'll be one healthy looking corpse.
- Republican Tenn. state senator, 47, quits after affair with intern, 22. He's also stepping down as president of the Rick Sandford Fan Club.
- Florida town official fired for being married to a porn star is leaving town -- as soon as he writes his farewell and Penthouse letters.
- Shocked Boston cop suspended for using racial slur to describe Henry L. Gates: "This is the thanks I get for creating a teachable moment."
- N.H. Sports reporter arrested for running a prostitution ring on Craigslist. On the bright side: newspapers discover new revenue stream.
- Swedish company fined $3,000 for 2007 incident where robot attacked & injured factory worker. Robot union promises to appeal the fine.
- Arizona lawmakers want to sell state capitol buildings for cash. They are already planning the new Days Inn/Legislative building.
- SC man charged with having sex with horse -- again! "Love is lovelier, the second time around."
- Wash. state may release ill prisoners to save money. "Excuse me guard, this swastika tattoo on my forehead is killing me."
- Mich. man jailed for assault during Monopoly game. He was also ordered not to pass go and not to collect $200.
- Harvard prof, cop & Obama get together for a beer. Verdict: Less filling 2, Taste great 1.
