This Week in Tweets
Humor
- Vt. police arrest man driving backward on highway. He claims he's a driver for the Palin Talk Express.
- Sarah Palin calls Pres. Obama's health plan "downright evil." She said it's the scariest title she's ever skimmed.
- Government approves formation of Australian Sex Party. Celebration is expected to last until government bans Australian Sex Party.
- Most popular TV show in Myanmar: "This Old House Arrest."
- GM to sell cars on eBay. Finally, a place to buy a Camaro with an image of the Virgin Mary on the hood.
- Jaime Pressly denies peeing in public. Remember the good old says when celebrities only denied being communists?
- 60-year-old man convicted of groping Minnie Mouse at Disney World. Blames it on an overdose of the new Cheese-flavored Viagra.
- Mass. transgender prison inmate denied electrolysis. He then demanded, "At least give me a cellmate who's into hairy chicks."
- Brazilian TV host accused of ordering killings to boost ratings. Regis Philbin shocked: "You can do that?"
- French pool bars Muslim woman for "burquini" suit. Disappointed swimmer laments, "How else can I work on the tan lines around my eyes?"
- My friend went to his congressman's town hall forum on health and all I got was this torn and bloody T-shirt.
- Dick Cheney is writing a book that won't be flattering of Bush. It's tentatively titled: "What Part of 'Do As I Say' Don't You Understand?"
- Radio Shack is changing its name to The Shack. Not to be outdone, Shaq is changing his name to Radio O'Neal.
- Taco Bell to start selling breakfast items. Hey, a Denny's Grand Slam omelet can only clog so many arteries.
- Obama's poll numbers are down. And to think, unlike George Bush, he's done it without mispronouncing "nuclear" or invading another country.
