This Week in Tweets
Humor
- Chris Brown says he still loves Rihanna – in a vicious violent kind of way.
- There’s a description for Dick Cheney’s callous disregard of basic human rights: his warm and fuzzy side.
- Same-sex marriages begin in Vermont. Or as opponents are calling it: Sodom and Gomorrah meet Ben and Jerry.
- NJ teacher accused of selling grades for $1,400. The tip off? Her last test asked “How many grades must I sell to earn $8400?”
- Disgraced former NY Gov. Eliot Spitzer is thinking about elected office again. His goal: Become disgraced NY State Comptroller Eliot Spitzer.
- Honolulu wants to ban body odor on buses. Apparently, our Constitution does not include the right to remain malodorous.
- Ohio judge silences defendant with duct tape – or as he calls it, binding arbitration.
- Fire seen on JetBlue flight after it lands safely. Passengers charged $10 for fireworks display.
- Circus billionaire plans show while visiting space aboard Russian Soyuz capsule. Highlight will be clowns crawling out of space toilet.
- Rolling Stones deny 68-year-old drummer Charlie Watts quit the band. They say he just wandered off.
- Stranger accused of slapping crying child at store – automatically nominating him for the Leona Helmsley Humanitarian Award.
- Pfizer to pay record $2.3B penalty for drug promos. Company must also stop claiming “Viagra keeps the men on Mt. Rushmore hard.”
- Internet addiction center opens in US. Said one user: “It’s great! I’ve been logged on for 3 weeks!
- Part of finger bitten off at Calif. health care reform protest. The biter was there to protest socialized chewing.
- Federal agency approves plan for Gulf of Mexico fish farming. Work will begin after engineers design a tractor that won’t sink.
- Montana girl admits trying to poison dad’s Jell-O – proving once again that even poison can make Jell-O taste better.
