|
Main
Politics / Humor- In her bra and under the table
The FBI is subpoenaing records from All Checks Cashed check-cashing stores in search of other places former State Senator Dianne Wilkerson may have hidden money. Here are a few other leads the agency is chasing down:
- For three years, Wilkerson had a no-show job at the Little Bit of Ecuador Landscape Service.
- During her first term in office, the former senator worked as a part-time exotic dancer until a constituent stuffed thousand-dollar bills into her G-string, causing her to tip over and break a hip.
- Wilkerson has purchased Victoria Secret specialty bras in three sizes: fives, tens, and twenties.
- To avoid taxes, Wilkerson may have stashed thousands of dollars in a Cayman Islands halter top.
- A video has reportedly turned up on YouTube showing Wilkerson stuffing money into City Counselor Chuck Turner’s pants while asking, “Can you break a twenty?”
ben.alper@onlineoffbeat.com
Politics / Humor - Boston City Hall is so ugly...
Boston City Hall was named by the Web site, VirtualTourist.com as the world’s ugliest building. But don’t despair. It doesn’t take much to turn an awful edifice into a sassy structure. For example:
- Replace the roof with a wooden shingle comb-over.
- Install curtains in the Memino Rumpus Room.
- Audition for the reality show, “Trading Municipal Spaces.”
- Hire a structural therapist to help BCH feel better about itself.
- If all fails, get an estimate from the guy who works on Joan Rivers.
ben.alper@onlineoffbeat.com
Politics / Humor
Toll hikes voted by the Mass Turnpike Board (along with its new slogan: “If you have to ask how much, you should be hitchhiking”) have given new meaning to the term “road rage.” But there are ways to beat the system. Here are just a few:
- Find a 13-year-old computer geek who can re-program your Fast Lane device.
- Learn the toll collector’s secret Teamster wink.
- Sign up for the Backstroke-to-Logan shuttle
- Trade your car in for a fire engine.
- Carpool with an elected official.
ben.alper@onlineoffbeat.com
Politics / Humor
Fidelity announced it's cutting 1,300 jobs. It also used the occasion to unveil its new Asset Mismanagement and Stifled Growth funds.
Rumor 1: Deval Patrick will leave office to take a job in the Obama administration -- just as soon as he can find 1200 college students willing to rent his Berkshire manse for $27,000 a month.
Rumor 2: John Kerry will leave office to be Barack Obama's Secretary of State -- just as soon as his possible successor, Marty Meehan, can hire an excavator to dig up his war chest.
Rumor 3: Ray Flynn will leave no particular office to be Barack Obama's Ambassador to the Knights of Columbus.
Officials are scrambling to prepare for the State's newly-liberalized marijuana laws. Backers of the bill assured authorities they should "just chill out and pass the Doritos."
ben.alper@onlineoffbeat.com
Politics / Humor- It's not over until the stuffed lady is elected president of her cell block
Dianne Wilkerson may have been busted, but she's also a bust size away from being re-elected. With her base energized to vote for Barack Obama, all she needs is a catchy phrase or two to whip up her troops. Consider the following:
- Let her who is without sin stuff the first bra.
- Today is the first day of the arrest of your life.
- Woman does not live by silicone implants alone.
- We have nothing to fear but fear, and a man with a camera and microphone posing as a developer.
- No one asks how many years Dolly Parton has been taking payoffs.
ben.alper@onlineoffbeat.com
Politics / Humor - How do you stuff a wild state senator?
Playtex announced that Dianne Wilkerson will be endorsing its new "Cross Your Heart with Cash Bra." The garment has been designed to lift and separate bribes, kickbacks, slush funds, and any other piece of the action.
Wilkerson says she will make a public statement, but only after finishing filming her final installment of "Cops: The Diane Wilkerson Story."
Wilkerson will also receive this year's Marion Barry Lifetime Achievement Award in honor of her dedication to staying one step ahead of the law -- almost.
If you would like to contribute to the Dianne Wilkerson Defense Fund, please stuff any undergarment with cash and send it to her immediately.
ben.alper@onlineoffbeat.com
Politics / Humor
Former state treasurer Robert Crane, who brought the lottery to the Commonwealth, was honored by Boston College. A small park was named after Crane, after which people took turns scratching him in hopes of winning the Daily Double.
Massachusetts Budget Saver Suggestion of the Day: The “Dr. Pepper Freedom Trail”
ben.alper@onlineoffbeat.com
Politics / Humor - Budget cutbacks fall on RMV
Due to a $2 million budget reduction, the Massachusetts Registry of Motor Vehicles will cut branch hours. But shorter hours won’t be the only noticeable changes in customer service.
- The eye test will now consist of answering the following question: How many middle fingers am I holding up?
- Road tests will now include driving RMV employees to Dunkin Donuts.
- Customer lines will be automatically closed when they reach the New Hampshire border.
- Bring your own license photo. However, naked pictures will not be allowed for people more than 25 pounds overweight.
- Registrar Rachel Kaprielian will listen to all complaints -- but only from an underground bunker in an undisclosed location.
ben.alper@onlineoffbeat.com
Politics / Humor - State Senator Dianne Wilkerson, who lost to Sonia Chang-Diaz in the primary, may face disbarment proceedings for lying during her nephew’s murder trial. She is also being asked to pay for a new bible after the one she was swearing on exploded.
Senator Wilkerson still intends to run for re-election as a write-in candidate. Despite her primary loss and ongoing legal problems, only two politicians -- Gov. Deval Patrick and State Senate President Therese Murray -- are supporting Chang-Diaz in the General Election. Said a non-committed Boston Mayor Menino: “I have no intention of pissing off the African American community -- and I can say that with absolute conviction because no one can understand what I’m saying.”
Police union members protesting new rules allowing some roadway projects to go on without paid police details, picketed two work sites in Everett and Revere. Revere police Captain James Guido spurred his men on by reciting his “I have a dream job” speech.
Massachusetts Treasurer Tim Cahill asked the Federal Reserve and U.S. Treasury if the state can take out a short-term federal loan if credit markets remain frozen and the state can’t pay its bills. The government answered, “No, but we can lend you some lovely Lehman Brothers paper weights.”
The Boston Herald has endorsed John McCain for president. Angry readers responded: “What about Jack Bauer?”
ben.alper@onlineoffbeat.com
Politics / Humor - Gov. Deval Patrick signed a bill that lowers the blood donor age to 16. This corresponds with last year’s new law that lowered the minimum age for getting a vampire license.
ben.alper@onlineoffbeat.com
Politics / Humor - Sonia Chang-Diaz finally defeated 15-year incumbent Dianne Wilkerson for the office of state senator. The victory, however, will not be official until Chang-Diaz drives a wooden spike into Wilkerson’s chest.
A stunned Dianne Wilkerson would only comment, “I thought the last-minute endorsement by John Buonomo was going to push me over the top.
The Massachusetts Republican Party has opened a Metrowest operation to help elect John McCain. Its new slogan: “Who hasn’t contradicted themselves five times in one speech?”
Half of all Massachusetts public schools this year failed to meet the standards established under the No Child Left Behind Act. However, most did meet more of the standards established under the No Child Left in the Car While Mom and Dad Gamble at Foxwoods Act.
Governor’s Councilor Kelly Timilty, who admitted forging Gov. Deval Patrick’s signature her on campaign mailings and falsely claiming he was endorsing her, was reelected. She thanked her supporters, and key advisors Mohandas Gandhi and President Woodrow Wilson.
ben.alper@onlineoffbeat.com
Politics / Humor - Five possible reasons why Deval Patrick, Michael Capuano, and Tom Menino are supporting Dianne Wilkerson for re-election:
- Everybody deserves a 20th or 21st chance in life.
- She’s promised them guest appearances on “America’s Most Wanted.”
- “When you see a guy reach for stars in the sky, you can bet that he's doing it for some doll.”
- They need her for the Jim Marzilli roast.
- It’s change we can heave in.
Boston officials are installing a variety of fitness equipment at every city fire station. The Boston firefighters union is providing additional instructions on how to safely go for a disability-causing burn.
Former Governor Jane Swift is leading John McCain “truth squad,” defending vice presidential nominee Sarah Palin. An energized Swift told McCain, “Just give me a helicopter and I’m there.”
The Boston City Council is considering conducting its business in secrecy. Confused citizens responded, “The Boston City Council conducts business?”
Joe Biden, raised $900,000 at two Massachusetts fundraisers. This breaks the previous record it took to make him stop talking.
ben.alper@onlineoffbeat.com
Media / Humor - WBZ-TV and CBS’s over-the-top coverage of the new CBS Scene at Gillette Stadium has been enough to make Edward R. Morrow scream “Good night and get those mozzarella sticks out of my face.” However, as news and media continue to evolve at breakneck-speed, other media outlets should consider following suit. Here are some suggestions:
Booters - The Boston Herald and Hooters join forces to create the perfect atmosphere for discussing government hacks and UFOs, while being served by gun-toting Sarah Palin look-alike waitresses.
The Fox 25 Running-In Place - A friendly restaurant where news anchors can walk up and down studio stairs while talking about car wrecks.
WTKK Shopping Maul
Stores and restaurants include:
- Michael Graham-Auntie Anne's Pretzels' Twisted Logic kiosk
- Eagan and Braude’s Bed, Bath, and lots of other things they’ve endorsed
- Jay Severin’s Hetero Night at TGI Fridays
The Boston Globe Buyout Package Store - The Globe and Martignetti’s Liquor Company combine to send you off into the unemployed world, drunk with a warm and wonderful sense of false hope.
WHDH-TV’s Executive Caligula Camp and Bistro - Thursdays are “Do You Know Who I Am?” nights. Friday’s are “I’ll Have Your Badge.” nights. Mondays are “I apologize for my actions. I've been under a lot of pressure.” nights.
ben.alper@onlineoffbeat.com
Politics / Humor - The Massachusetts Republican delegation returned from their presidential convention energized and excited -- until they remembered that Jane Swift is a soccer mom, too.
John Kerry debated his first primary opponent, Ed O’Reilly, in 24 years. It was also the first time the confident Kerry debated while wearing bicycle pants and a T-shirt that read: “Ask me how many homes I own.”
Mitt Romney has ruled out a cabinet post in a McCain administration. However, Romney said he will consider retaining McCain after Bain Capitol’s purchase of the United States.
The State of Massachusetts has opened a new office in Beijing to promote the state’s businesses. The office will be run by Hwang DiMasi and Zhang Fitzgerald
Boston Mayor Tom Menino is attending a conference in Cernobbio, Italy. After his first speech, a Menino aide looked at the audience and said, “Don’t ask me. I don’t know what he’s saying either.”
ben.alper@onlineoffbeat.com
Politics / Humor - MBTA general manager Dan Grabauskas gave nine percent raises to 240 executive employees one week after warning that a financial crisis could cause a hefty fare increase in 2010. Here are some better ways to pay for the salary increases:
- The new Charlie Scratch Card.
- Corporate sponsorship of subway station urine smell.
- Increase efficiency by appointing Dominos Pizza in charge of scheduling.
- Pari-mutuel subway rodent racing.
- Appoint John Buonomo in charge of payroll. He always knows where to find some extra cash.
According to a recent poll, 40 percent, a plurality, of respondents feel Gov. Deval Patrick is a worse governor than they expected. The other respondents think his real name is Christian Karl Gerhartsreiter.
This weekend was Massachusetts’ annual tax holiday in which the state’s five percent sales tax is suspended. It’s the one weekend each year you can get bargains on electronic equipment, clothes, and politicians.
Gov. Deval Patrick is scheduled to speak on the second night of the Democratic National Convention. He will speak glowingly of his friend Barack Obama and propose that all military troops in Iraq be replaced with civilian flaggers.
The Boston Public Library board of trustees chose Amy E. Ryan as its new president of the city's library system. Ryan thanked the board for their support -- then told them to keep their voices down.
ben.alper@onlineoffbeat.com
Politics / Humor -
John Buonomo, the Middlesex register of probate, who was caught on videotape stealing thousands of dollars from copy and change machines at the Registry of Deeds, is still running for reelection. Here are some possible campaign slogans:
- It’s not easy having an evil identical twin.
- At least they didn’t videotape me photocopying my bare ass.
- My name is John Buonomo and I’m a sleepwalker.
- Lesser registers of probate would’ve claimed they strained their backs lifting the cash and applied for disability.
- Where’s the video of me making a fresh pot of coffee every morning?
Salem State College plans to go ahead with a John and Elizabeth Edwards speaking appearance Sept. 23. However, the evening’s theme has been changed from “Family and Politics” to “Cold Stares and Quiet Tension.”
A group of vandals broke into Plimoth Plantation, damaged fencing, and stole beaver pelts and furs. Authorities are warning citizens to be on the lookout for anyone trading animal hides for maize.
Gov. Patrick is moving forward with a plan to replace some paid police details with civilian flaggers. However, some issues need to be worked out:
- Who will train the flaggers to drink coffee and talk on their cell phones?
- Will flaggers get a bump in pay if they earn a Masters degree in flagging techniques?
- When hiring flaggers, will preference be given to former fan dancers?
- Can out-of-state gay illegal immigrants be flaggers?
- Should drivers be required to salute the flaggers?
ben.alper@onlineoffbeat.com
Politics / Humor - House Speaker Sal DiMasi and Speaker Pro Tempore Thomas Petrolati collected $42,000 in two days from eye doctors and their lobbyists just before a law that would’ve hurt their business was put on hold. The two have also been nominated for “Progressive with a Heart of Sleaze” awards.
State Senator Dianne Wilkerson has agreed to pay a $10,000 fine as part of a settlement with the attorney general's office for charges that included failing to report $26,935 in donations and paying herself $18,000 from her campaign funds. She said her biggest mistake was reading the book “Political Ethics, DiMasi Style.”
Despite massive state deficits looming, state legislators approved a pension increase for state workers that could cost more than $3 billion over the next 20 years. However, to offset the expenditure, they voted to raise the tax on a pack of cigarettes to $10,000.
The Legislature also voted to tax Manny Ramirez’s salary no matter where he's playing.
Increased gasoline and other costs have driven the number of MBTA riders to record high numbers, which basically means if you ride the T today, there is a better than 75 percent chance your nose will be wedged into another passenger’s armpit.
ben.alper@onlineoffbeat.com
Politics / Humor - Boston Mayor Tom Menino is furious about the firefighter disability scams and is not going to take it any longer. The mayor, a master of the shutting-the-barn-door-after-the-horse-is-gone style of governing, vows to end this shameful practice. But this is just the beginning:
• Menino promises to fine Paul Revere for operating a lantern in the Old North Church without a fire permit.
• The mayor says he will not sleep until the hooligans who disrupted 1918 Red Sox World Series celebration are apprehended.
• As of September 15, citizens will not be allowed to graze their cattle on the Boston Common without a permit.
• The mayor also promises to launch a full investigation of why the Inspector of Cattle Grazing hasn’t showed up for work in 196 years.
• Finally, Menino has appointed a special prosecutor who will, once and for all, find out who put the ram in the rama lama ding dong.
The Massachusetts House of Representatives gave initial approval to a bill that would require all legislation be written in a gender neutral language. The bill was sponsored by Representatives Pat Jones, Lee Smith, and Terry Harper.
Jeff Beatty, the Republican challenger to Sen. John Kerry believes that if John McCain picks Mitt Romney to be his running mate, the GOP will carry Massachusetts in November -- and drive Beatty’s numbers up into the single digits.
The Mass Pike will not use prison labor to lower its operating costs. However, it will continue to use escaped convicts as toll takers.
ben.alper@onlineoffbeat.com
Politics / Humor - State Senator James Marzilli refuses to step down after being arrested for a series of peculiar sexual incidents. Once again, a politician has put his supporters in the position of holding their noses in silence. It’s hard to defend Marzilli staying in office and collecting a salary. But if you have to, try these explanations with your conservative friends:
• Sure he could quit, but that Prius isn’t going to pay for itself.
• The man is an inspiration for all bipolar politicians who have attacked numerous women.
• There are lots of ways to serve your constituents -- for example, spending 24/7 in psychiatric lockdown.
• Are you telling me you never called in sick for ten months?
• He’s not absent. He’s participating in a highly medicated civic engagement.
Boston firefighter Albert Arroyo, who competed in the International Natural Bodybuilding & Fitness competition in May despite being “permanently disabled” from a work-related back injury, has been ordered back to work. Arroyo announced he has begun training for next year’s International Sleazeball Employee Bodybuilding & Fitness competition.
The Mexican government announced it will honor Sen. Edward Kennedy for his defense of immigrant rights. In a related story, Lou Dobbs has been placed on a 24 hour suicide watch.
State Treasurer Timothy Cahill has proposed cities and towns use off-the-shelf building designs to cut school-project costs -- or as he’s calling it: One size detention room fits all.
The New England Patriots Charitable Foundation and the Federal Reserve Bank of Boston are sponsoring a workshop that will give financially stressed homeowners the opportunity to sit down with lenders in an attempt to broker solutions. The number one solution: Don’t mortgage your house trying to buy Patriots tickets.
ben.alper@onlineoffbeat.com
Politics / Humor - The E.P.A. plans on banning boaters from emptying waste into Cape Cod Bay. Landfills expect to see an increase of cans, paper, and gamblers unable to pay off their loans.
Gov. Deval Patrick signed a $28.1 billion budget for the new fiscal year, while vetoing $122.5 million from the Legislature's spending plan – including a Slight of Hand seminar for Mass. Turnpike toll takers.
Framingham plans to redevelop potentially contaminated industrial sites. Some possible uses are:
• Up Chuck E. Cheese
• No Balance Shoe Outlet
• Radiation Shack
• Bed, Bath & Barf
• Illegal Seafood
ben.alper@onlineoffbeat.com
Politics / Humor - Barack Obama has widened his lead in Massachusetts over John McCain. On the bright side for the Republican candidate, McCain has pulled even with Grace Ross.
Secretary of State William Galvin certified 12,000 signatures on a petition to put the initiative to abolish the state income tax on the ballot. In a related move, the Legislature voted to abolish the words “initiative” and “ballot.”
The Massachusetts Republican Party held its annual Lincoln Reagan Dinner. Why is it called “Lincoln Reagan?” Probably for the same reason it's called “Sweet and Sour.”
Convenience store tycoon Christy Mihos is talking about running for governor again – a daring move for someone whose chances are Slim Jim to none.
Massachusetts’ new renewable energy bill requires utility companies to offer rebates and incentives for customers who upgrade lighting and air conditioning systems. During summer months, obscene phone callers will also be awarded rebates for heavy breathing with a mouthful of ice cubes.
ben.alper@onlineoffbeat.com
Politics / Humor - An 86-year-old time capsule was dug up in Boston’s Dudley Square. Its contents included:
• 400 hundred votes purchased by Mayor James Michael Curley
• A petition to legalize betting on indentured servant racing
• A written pact by Gloucester teenage girls, each agreeing to have at least eight children before they turn 21
• A proclamation by Governor Calvin Coolidge declaring every weekday to be “Don’t Even Think About Bringing Your Daughter to Work Day”
• A “Yankees Will Suck for Years to Come” t-shirt
• A pair of Reebok’s “revolutionary new” coal shoveling shoes
Ten Mass. Turnpike Authority toll collectors have been charged with skimming thousands of dollars from taxis and other vehicles passing by their booths near Logan International Airport – thus answering the question constantly asked by the suspect’s wives: “Is that a roll of quarters in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?”
A trolley driver on the MBTA’s Green Line has been suspended for being asleep at the wheel. Riders sensed something was amiss when the train passed without stopping through Kenmore, Cleveland Circle, Providence, and New York City.
Drunken-driving arrests in Massachusetts have risen 70 percent in the past two years. As for the cause, authorities aren’t ruling out the new combination Fast Lane transponder / cocktail mixer.
ben.alper@onlineoffbeat.com
Politics / Humor - Time magazine reports that 17 girls at Gloucester High School are pregnant, and a group of freshman had made a pact to get pregnant and raise their babies together. Experts have not been able to pinpoint when the added interest in getting knocked up now occurred. However, recent events in the town may have contributed:
• Due to political correctness, the school mascot was changed from the Fighting Redmen to the Leaking Condoms.
• Career Day included representatives from 12 strip clubs.
• Grading for sex education was changed to one percent testing and 99 percent class participation.
• The Abstinence Awareness Club chose “Love to Love You Baby” as its theme song.
• The Gorton’s Fisherman finally found a doctor willing to prescribe Viagra.
Gary Zerola, a former Boston prosecutor and one of People magazine's “Most Eligible Bachelors,” who has also beaten three rape charges (so far), was arrested for hitting a police officer and urinating in public while celebrating the Celtics championship win. He was also just named one of People magazine's “Most Eligible Urinating Rapists.”
Massachusetts health authorities announced hospitals and doctors who operate on the wrong limb or give an unsafe dose of medication will no longer be able to bill the state or Blue Cross and Blue Shield for costs related to fixing the mistake. Said one angry doctor: “It’s getting to the point where an incompetent doctor can’t make a living in Massachusetts.”
According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, Massachusetts produces more twins, triplets, and other multiple births than any state in the nation. The rate is expected to double if Gloucester lowers its drinking age to eight.
ben.alper@onlineoffbeat.com
Politics / Humor - Massachusetts Gov. Deval Patrick’s administration’s top 20 accomplishments, published on his Web site, reads like a chapter from “Profiles in Padded Resumes.” Kudos to the governor’s Secretary of Action Verbs. The following are a few achievements that didn’t make the final cut:
21. Increased daylight during the spring and summer months.
22. Streamlined the state purchasing process by requiring staff members to order only medium coffees with cream and one sugar.
23. Commissioned a study to find out why 99 percent of voters think “civic engagement” is when a Honda tries to mate with a Camry.
24. Attempting to retrieve half of the $1 billion Life Science Initiative money being used to resurface Speaker Sal DiMasi's bocce court.
25. Initiated an emergency chain of command for when the governor is out of state at book-signings.
Fenway Park’s food stands were cited for more than a dozen health and safety violations, including putting pine tar on a Polish sausage.
A Nantucket man was sentenced to 25 years in prison on federal pornography charges of filming himself engaged in sex acts with young girls in Asia. His lawyer complained the judge kept cutting him off after each time he started to say: “There once was a man from Nantucket.”
Horace White, a Boston DPW dispatcher, suspended for a second time for being asleep on the job, was arrested on charges of setting a house on fire. The city has a name for people like this: Employee of the Year.
ben.alper@onlineoffbeat.com
Politics / Humor - The Tweeter Center for the Performing Arts in Mansfield has been renamed the Comcast Center. All shows will now begin sometime between 7:00 and 11:00 A.M. or 1:00 and 5:00 P.M.
House Speaker Sal DiMasi’s close friend and financial adviser, Richard Vitale refused to appear at a hearing to answer questions about allegations he lobbied on behalf of a group of Massachusetts ticket brokers. However, he did offer to appear after DiMasi’s close friend and pool cleaner, but before his close friend and dog walker.
Senator John F. Kerry will have a primary challenger for the first time in 24 years. Kerry says he isn’t worried, but he did ask the City of Boston to move the fire hydrant back in front of his house.
A seven-year-old Cambridge girl almost had her finger chewed off by a rat after she stuck it in a garbage can. A city spokesman said the rats couldn’t be removed because the can had been declared an official Sanctuary Disposal Container.
ben.alper@onlineoffbeat.com
Politics / Humor - State Senator James Marzilli Jr. being charged with attempting to inappropriately touch a woman on a park bench in Lowell, giving a false name to police, and fleeing from officers can mean only one thing: Republicans still have no chance at winning his seat.
New England Patriots offensive lineman Nicholas Kaczur was arrested in April on a charge of illegal possession of prescription painkillers. He then secretly helped the federal Drug Enforcement Administration in a sting operation. Officials also offered thanks to Kaczur’s coach Bill Belichick for the use of his video camera.
The Roman Catholic Archdiocese of Boston has offered to let a small Indian Catholic community move into a closed Framingham parish. A grateful Indian official commented, “Now we’re going to show them how you really do Bingo.”
ben.alper@onlineoffbeat.com
Politics / Humor - Boston Mayor Menino suspended his Department of Public Works Chief Dennis Royer for three weeks after it was revealed that Royer allowed a systems analyst to telecommute from her family’s home in Venezuela for 15 weeks. He was also docked two weeks sleep.
Police killed a bear roaming through a Worcester neighborhood. State wildlife officials speculate the bear was heading for an electrolysis appointment at Elizabeth Grady.
This day in history, 1863 - The Boston Herald received its first letter to the editor in response to its story about Lincoln’s Gettysburg Address:
“Hey Abe, where’s my property tax relief? – Josiah, Woburn”
Jim Ogonowski, who is challenging US Senator John F. Kerry, came up 82 signatures short of qualifying for the GOP primary ballot. He blamed it on the fact that hard-working Americans are losing their signatures to illegal aliens.
ben.alper@onlineoffbeat.com
|
|  
|
